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Sonic X: The Smoking Peanut
Summary It is the annual "Free Day" at the Central Station Zoo, and Knuckles the Echidna is abusing it by stealing light bulbs, filling an entire barrel at the soda machine, and raiding the gift shop with a fake mustache to hide his REAL identity. Meanwhile, Sonic the Hedgehog and Tails the Fox go to the Eeveelution Stadium to see Kai-lan the Eevee, a young preschool aged Chinese speaking 4 year old Eevee. However, Kai-lan the Eevee is sleeping with her family, making Tails leave out of boredom. Sonic tries to wake Kai-lan the Eevee up by throwing a peanut at her, and Kai-lan the Eevee wakes up and goes on a emotional and sorrowful rampage as she attacks people and cries and bawls in intense madness as her extended nuclear family tries to calm her down. Sonic believes himself to be responsible, and as he walks home with Tails, Tails decides to investigate the crime and is determined to discover the culprit and punish him. At home, Sonic tells himself that the incident will blow over soon. However, when he turns on the TV, the Kai-lan the Eevee incident is the top news story. Pokemon Breeder and Pewter City Gym Leader, Brock reports that the cry is so powerful that it can be heard all around the globe of the Preschool World, and asks what kind of "cruel, selfish, heartless, careless, evil person" would do anything to upset a preschool aged Pokemon. Feeling guilty, Sonic goes to Espio the Chameleon and Amy the Hedgehog for advice, but just like Tails, both are concerned with finding and punishing the culprit, adding to Sonic's anxiety. To add more to his apprehension, once Sonic goes home, Tails reveals that he found the bag of peanuts that the thrown peanut came from left near Sonic's home, stating that he's getting close to solve the mystery. Eventually, Officer Jenny and the policemen enter Sonic's victorian house and question him on the Kai-lan the Eevee incident. Sonic admits to everything they ask him, but instead of arresting him, they conclude from their evidence that Tails is the culprit due to his stupidity. Tails the Fox is taken to Eeveelution Stadium, where he is chained to a platform in the middle of the stage and pelted with peanuts, and other foods and drinks by the angry audience for the crime. Unwilling to let Tails take the fall of something he didn't do, Sonic arrives at the stadium and orders everyone to stop throwing peanuts at Tails. He finally confesses to having thrown the peanut, apologizing to Kai-lan the Eevee, Tails, and the people of Central Station and asking for forgiveness. The audience, refusing to accept Sonic's apology, decide to throw peanuts at both him and Tails, but before they can do so, a zookeeper arrives and stops them, having captured Knuckles with Kai-lan the Eevee's egg. The zookeeper reveals that when Kai-lan the Eevee and her family were sleeping, Knuckles stole her egg, and when Kai-lan the Eevee woke up after being hit by the peanut, she found out that her egg was gone; thus it was the theft of the egg, not the thrown peanut, that made Kai-lan the Eevee sad, heartbroken, upset, angry and depressed in the first place. Having recovered the egg from Knuckles, the zookeeper gives it back to Kai-lan the Eevee. However, the egg then hatches into a baby female Eevee. Having being reunited with her baby sister, Kai-lan the Eevee finally calms herself down, which emotionally touches Sonic, Tails, and the audience. With the truth of the crime finally revealed, Sonic and Tails are cleared of all charges, and the audience turn their rage toward Knuckles for stealing Kai-lan the Eevee's baby sibling. Rather than admitting that what he did was wrong, Knuckles instead makes the excuse that it's Free Day, and is literally buried in peanuts by the angry audience, much to his discomfort. Transcript episode starts at the Central Station Zoo Narrator: Ah... Central Station Zoo is having its annual free day. Free balloons... disguised in a mustache, steals a whole bunch of balloons from Gary Oak Narrator: Free drinks... Knuckles comes by and fills up a huge barrel] Narrator: Free... light bulbs? unscrews a light bulb from a lamp post and puts it into his pants just as the police arrive Aha! Top of the mornin', boys! [Laughs nervously Next stop: gift shop. he runs into the gift shop, SpongeBob and Patrick walk by wearing zoo hats Sonic: There it is... Eeveelution Stadium. It is famous for having a huge amounts of Eevees and their Eeveelutions such as Flareon, Jolteon, Vaporeon, Espeon, Umbreon, Leafeon, Glaceon, and Sylveon! an announcer Sonic: She is so adorable. I can't wait up his hat and spits it into the air and into a little fish's ice cream Patrick: What are we hanging around watching a cheap imitation? Let's get over there! two run into the stadium SpongeBob and Patrick: This is the greatest day of our lives! and gurgling Patrick: This is the greatest day of our lives? Boring! SpongeBob: You're right, Patrick. We came to see voice pearls 100 feet in the air, voice Right? I'll try my oyster call. makes a strange noise, but he gives up, because the oyster is asleep Tails: Well, I'm outta here. Thanks for nothin', Sonic. walks away Sonic: Come on, come on, wake up already! pulls out his bag of peanuts. He looks left and right and then throws one at Kai-lan the Eevee. The preschool aged Eevee stirs I think it's working! Eevee frantically looks around Sonic: Hey Patrick, it's waking up! Tails: Oh boy, did I miss it? Sonic: No, the show's about to begin! the Eevee suddenly cries at the top of her lungs. Sonic and Tails get blown away to the seats. Kai-lan the Eevee runs around while bawling a huge fountain of tears. Mario and Peach come running into the arena Princess Peach: What's wrong with Kai-lan the Eevee? Mario: Easy girl, it's me, Mario! Remember? the Eevee then bawls and uses Double Edge to throw Mario out of Eeveelution Stadium. Tails and nervous Sonic wait at the stands Tails: Now this is a show! Outside Announcer: Attention zoo patrons! Kai-lan the Eevee is on an tearful and emotional rampage! Please scream and run around in circles. runs for their lives and scream Thanks for coming. Kai-lan the Eevee: (bawling very loudly) EEEEEEEEEVEEEEHEHEHEHEHEE! VEEEEEEE! EEEEEVEEEE!!! the stadium, Kai-lan the Eevee is still smashing things and crying very loudly. Mario goes up to Sonic and Tails Mario: You boys better get out of this area, pronto! There's nothing more dangerous than an emotionally disturbed preschool aged Pokemon!!! points menacingly at Sonic Mario: You didn't do anything that might have caused this horrible apocalyptic war starting tragedy, did you? Sonic: Uh… Tails: No way! Only a jerk would upset a gentle giant. Right, Sonic? hides the peanut bag Sonic: Right. the Eevee then uses Tackle on a soccer ball and uses Double Edge on everything. Cut to Tails and Sonic leaving the zoo Tails: Man, if I see the guy who upset Kai-lan the Eevee , I've got a few choice words for him, like "you"… and "are"… and… "a jerk!" and Tails have now gotten to Sega Street, where their Victorian houses are Tails: Are you sure you didn't see anything suspicious? Sonic: I already said I didn't, Tails! Sheesh! up his cobblestone path into his Victorian house Tails: Hey, let's investigate this crime and catch the lowlife who's responsible! Sonic: Give it a rest, Tails! There's no crime to investigate! Now go home! the pineapple Stupid Tails, I didn't do anything wrong. Ah, what am I getting so worked up about? I'm sure that by tomorrow, this whole ugly mess will be a funny memory! chuckles and turns on the TV Brock: Our top story tonight: Kai-lan, a young preschool aged Chinese speaking Eevee has her feelings hurt! The only clue that could be found was this lone peanut! And as you can hear, Kai-lan the Eevee continues to emit her horrible cry. A cry so powerful, it can be heard around the Preschool World! see real people covering their ears in Haiti, Jamaica, Cuba, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Costa Rica, Egypt, Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland, France, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Greece, Germany, Poland, Luxembourg, Holland, Russia, Belgium, China, Korea, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Austrailia, India, Thailand and Japan A cry that not only breaks the sound barrier, it breaks the hearts of our citizens! then see guilty Sonic onlooking in horror Brock: What kind of cruel, careless, evil person would deliberately upset one of Arceus's most gentle creatures? uses a tissue to wipe a tear off Brock's face. The TV turns off Charmy: Huh? Sonic: AHHH!!! No Charmy, how would I know anything about the Eevee? Charmy: That's terrible. You are so very defensive. Sonic: Defensive? I'm not being defensive! Darn it! What is this, 20 questions or something? peers out the window at Eeveelution Stadium, where we hear Kai-lan the Eevee's cries This is getting a little out of hand. All I did was throw a peanut. I didn't mean to make a preschool aged Pokemon cry. I just wanted to see it perform spectacular stunts! Aw, everyone's going to kill me! I, I need some advice! Now let's see now, who could never kill me no matter what I do? [Cut to Sonic knocking on Squidward's door Squidward? Espio! Oh, Espio the Chamleon! Espio: Sonic! Do you have to knock so loudly? Sonic: Sorry, neighbor. Espio: Oh… that preschool aged Eevee is giving me a headache! I can't even take my afternoon beauty nap! Sonic: Funny thing you should mention that old oyster, because I… uh… was kind of wondering, um… Let's say I know this guy who may have something to do with the oyster. Espio: You know the guy who did it!?! Sonic: Gulp! Espio: Oh this is great! You and I can go turn him in! And then I'll get so much sleep, I'll be gorgeous! Sonic: Um, actually, I-I'm just talking hypothetically. Espio: You mean you don't know who did it? Sonic: Well, um... I... uh... no. slams his door Sonic: Espio? his way home, he encounters Tails in a Sherlock Holmes outfit Tails : Gotcha! screams and jumps out of his pants Tails : Where were you on the day of today? Don't play games with me, mister! Sonic: Hey Tails, what are you doing? Tails : Oh, hi, Sonic. I'm just continuing my investigation of the great Kai-lan the Eevee Caper! Sonic: Um, have you found out anything? Tails : Yes! No wait, uh… no. up sand But this grain of sand looks pretty suspicious, and so does this rock! And I've got a few questions for this little piece of grass! Don't worry, SpongeBob! Patrick's on the case! The truth will be revealed! runs away Sonic: I better go see Amy! She'll know what to do! see Amy and Sonic at a Japanese garden, and we can hear Kai-lan the Eevee crying and bawling loudly Amy: Oh, I can't stand it anymore! That poor, poor critter! What kind of inconsiderate person would upset such a gentle creature? Sonic: Uh, that's kind of what I wanted to talk about, Amy. Amy: Why, when I find out who caused that preschool aged Pokemon so much pain, no more jiggery-pokery! up a Phone Book and rips it in half in front of Sonic Amy: Now, what was it you wanted to talk about, Sonic? tries to speak, but cannot Amy: Hey Sonic, how come you're all twitchy like that? Sonic: Twitchy? Twitchy? Who's twitchy? I'm not twitchy! Sorry Amy, I have to, um… um… go get my hair cut! runs home Amy: Sonic doesn't have hair… or does he? runs down the block super sonic faster panting. He runs to the Victorian house and tries to open the door. Tails approaches him to talk Tails: Hey, Sonic! is startled and he falls apart. His limbs and facial features all reattach in different places Tails: This is it! All the clues are coming together. I followed these footprints right to this exact spot and then, right where you're standing, I found this bag of peanuts! Ha! Oh, I'm so close to solving this crime, I can almost taste it. in on Tail's mouth next to Sonic's head, which he licks. Well, he's actually licking a blue ice cream pop Boy, crime fighting sure makes me hungry, and this blue popsicle hits the spot! Sonic: OK, good luck with all that Tails, and, um, I guess I'll see you later! shuts the door, and inside Officer Jenny: Open up! This is the police! eyes pop out of his head Sonic: Uh, uh, just a second! Jenny and 2 policemen bust in and one flashes his I.D British Policeman: Are you Sonic the Hedgehog? Sonic: Y-y-yes. French Policeman: Put those eyeballs back in your head, Sonic! We've got a few questions for you. puts them in and twists them like a dial until the are positioned Officer Jenny: Were you at the zoo on the day of the Kai-lan the Eevee incident? Sonic: Y-yes! Officer Jenny: Did you, or did you not take part in various activities of zoo-time merriment? Sonic: Yes… curls up into a ball Officer Jenny: And are you familiar with this peanut? up a zip-locked peanut with "Exhibit A" written on it Sonic: Yes! eyes now puppy eyed peer out while curled up into a ball as a clanging sound is heard Officer Jenny: Just one more question… Is it true that you at the oyster's lair with a Mr. Patrick Star? sobbing Sonic: Yes! Yes! It's true! It's all true! The merriment, the peanut, the Tails! Officer Jenny: That's all we need to know, son. Let's book him! The police put the cuffs on Tails Tails: Wow, you guys are good. I'm the last person I would have suspected, but I was looking for me all the time! It's the perfect crime! Officer Jenny: Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge, Foxy! Jenny and the policemen escort Tails out Sonic: Oh no! Tails is too very sensitive for the big house! follows the police car to the largest gigantic zoo Sonic: Wait! Stop! I'm the one you want! I am the criminal! booing and yelling Ash Ketchum: Hey everybody, let's throw peanuts and other foods and drinks at him and see how he likes it! Let's teach him a painful lesson he will never FORGET PIKACHU!! Ash's Pikachu: PIKA! PIKAA!! yelling Tails: I get what I deserve! yelling Ouch. Sonic: Wait! Hold your peanuts! Tails the Fox is innocent! I have come here to reveal the truth! They say that truth and honesty will be rewarded with trust and forgiveness… Tails: Dum, dum, dum dum, de, dum... Sonic: I'm here to lay my cards on the table, to trim the branches of deception from the tree of life, to shave away the unkempt sideburns from the face of truth! I… Ash Ketchum: Come on, Sonic! Just get on with it! Sonic: I was the one who threw the peanut! I know now that what I have done is wrong. So I say, I am sorry, Kai-lan the Eevee. I am sorry, Tails. I am sorry, citizens and Pokemon of Central Station. Ash Ketchum: Hey! Let's throw food and drinks at both of them! yelling Zoo Worker #1: objecting Wait! Here's the real criminal! Knuckles: Uh, top of the mornin'!...? Sonic: Knuckles! gasping Tails: I knew it! Goku: Knuckles has stolen a very important item from the oyster. off Mr. Krabs' clothes by accident Behold! crowd gets disgusted Zoo Worker #1: Wait a minute... Goku: Behold! The oyster's pearl! Here you go girl. Baby Oyster: Mama! Mama! SpongeBob: Mother of pearl! That oyster's a mother! And that pearl's no pearl, it's an egg! All: Awww… grunting Knuckles: But it's free day! yelling and then, they throw peanuts, at Knuckles